From Music to Mantra

Aren't we blessed to live in this period when a favorite song or CD can easily be played within seconds of deciding you'd like to hear it? The technology of recording music is only some 100 years old, after all. Before that music was what it still is in its purest form, a live event, a live communication and bonding between musician and audience.

Music is an intrinsic part of every culture, be it ceremony, a historical vessel in the oral tradition, or even our own modern culture where so much music "falls" into the category of "entertainment". It is a great shame that music has become another commodity, and the music business in all of its facets is worth many discussions. Ideally, talent should be recognized and fostered. Perhaps I'm myopic due to my own artistic leanings, but I think music has a very natural ability to express emotions on multiple and deep levels simultaneously. There are those, for whom music is not just a form of expression, it is a survival tool. I find it amazing, glorious and shockingly sad to see so many "bands and artists" groveling for attention at websites like Myspace, hoping for a break, CD sales, ego strokes, and some phantom sense of glory that truly can only be found in the private moments of creation and performance, yet we falsely seek such joys in the kudos of our friends and fans. Our modern technology and media makes it easier for us to "put ourselves out there", and that's a trap, I believe.

Ten years ago you would have found me in my basement studio, writing songs and playing guitar, recording my little songs for me and myself alone. The sense of emotional unburdening and yes, accomplishment at finishing a new album, were all I got out of the exercise, all I knew to look for, and frankly, all I needed out of it all. And then along came the Internet, and while it was great to finally feel like I wasn't alone, that there were people out there just like me doing music very similar to what I was doing, the whole thing also became a weird digital universe where wallflowers check their emails and social accounts for attention, comments and sales. The inherently insecure, and yes, I include myself in that group, had found another realm to feed their desires. In other words, YOU have to learn to love yourself for who you are, and seeking that in others is a dead-end road no matter the scene. The Internet for musicians is yet another drug; it feels so good at first and then you realize you're hooked and you need another fix, you need another website that needs your time, you need more "friends" who love all you do and praise your ass up and down.

All of this does not mean I don't love and cherish the true friends I've made online. Don't shoot the messenger! The Internet can be a useful and powerful tool. How unique of an opportunity do we have to be alive at the beginnings of the instantaneous Global Village?!?! It has become easier for us to find more friends who share our interest. It's a shame we all can't get together in person more, because that's where the love really is at. But it's nice not to feel alone. All I'm saying is not all is as it seems; be aware of your motivations, future Rock Stars of the world.

Am I being cynical and jealous? Yes, I admit that is partially what I am doing here. I have put myself out there and received silence. I have grown to near-full blossoming as an artist and have only a handful of "fans". Hey, if you're reading this, don't take that personally; likely only my friends are reading this journal anyway! But the point is I have grown also as a person and it is the fool who assumes he has arrived at a destination, instead of continuously examining his motivations. I would rather love and be honest, both as a person and a musician, and never sell another CD in my life, than be a vacuous self-promoter who only cares that you line my pockets. I mean, c'mon, I've dedicated my musical career, such as it is, to trying to help, aid, assist and end human suffering through medical research. I know it seems like I walk a fine line between self-promotion and charity with my Internet presence, but trust me; I am discovering and embracing who I am. I guess what I'm trying to say is I know I may occasionally seem over-the-top with my Internet behavior, but I'm aware of it, and that behavior is simply NOT a matter of promotion, of being the lowest common denominator approach of an Indie musician online and striving for strokes. The truth is I believe in myself and my causes, I need to communicate and there is a limited arsenal of tools to work that communication. If you as a person at all have a clue, if you at all have kindness in your heart, I hope you think I'm doing something worthy, and not something smarmy! So if that's the case, then jump on my bandwagon and we'll try to and believe we truly can change the world, just like all good Idealists believe.

Yes, I worry about how I'm perceived. But then, who ever is universally loved? I tend to get trapped into thinking in absolute terms. I worry that there are people out there who think, "man, Pucci takes it all too far, I wish he'd shut up now and then." Not that I've gotten that attitude a lot from others, just a little bit. I need to develop a thicker skin in all aspects of my life, criticism has always been hard for me to take. But then again, maybe that's part of my charm, being so innocent and naïve.

But I can also sense the potential for miracles in our conversations. I'm only too happy to be the hippie, freak flag-waving leader of the Love Parade, baby, if you need it. And we all need it. But I only want your love if it's sincere. Wait, isn't love always sincere? If it seems like love but it obviously isn't sincere, then it automatically can't be love, it has to be something else. Ass kissing, maybe? I think those I consider my friends know that I consider them to be my friends, so am I preaching to the choir?

We have to have faith in something, and I place my faith in the hope that humans can rise above their limitations and learn to truly love and take care of one another, regardless of religion, political boundaries, economic standings and models, and class systems. Let's try to start cutting the bullshit out of our lives.

Live the new Pucci Mantra: Life is too short; love fiercely.

Yeah, that's what my web presence is, that's what all of those newsletters and CDs and poetry books and podcasts are; Me Loving Fiercely. I feel better now. Hugs all around!