INSTANT KARMA’S GONNA GET YA

It is a delicious feeling when lightning strikes you into foolish and confident behavior. Instant attraction is a blessing of focus. It is a lifetime’s work to describe; shall I endeavor to add a few more golden words to the pillow couching such absolute and perfect dreams? Instant attraction strikes this artist speechless, and that’s a fine accomplishment the fates can bestow in a heartbeat. In other words, it is an ultimate experience and achievement; I can only imagine how it strikes those not used to describing their emotions and experiences artistically. In other words, it is potent and strong, it is getting the wind knocked out of you, it is turning away from a brief conversation and you’re amazed that you remember how to walk at all.

I go to Barnes & Noble bookstore a lot. It’s open ‘til 10pm and a good place to kill an hour if need be. I’m growing quite the collection of unread “The DiVinci Code” type thrillers at the moment. I like the historical elements, the puzzles, the alternative history, even the cynicism, if it’s present. And I have far too many blank notebooks and journals; at least, far too many for the next year or so. But hey, I’ve always loved books and feel at home among them, so the store is a favorite haunt of mine. And let’s not forget the coffee! But my point is I seldom go into Barnes & Noble’s CD section. Books are books and are priced the same pretty much everywhere, but B & N’s CDs are way overpriced. You know, $16 to $20 for one CD, same sort of thing for their DVDs. So outside of browsing, and perhaps checking out a new title on the demo headphones that always seem to have one channel that always cuts out (tonight it was the right headphone speaker, I checked out Neil Diamond’s new CD, interesting), there is no reason for me to enter B & N’s music section. But tonight I felt like, “what the heck?!” and thus entered.

Immediately upon walking through the magnetic sensors that stop thieving hippies from stuffing CDs beneath their tie-dyes, I was greeted by the sales girl with the ubiquitous “can I help you find anything?”

I looked up and I think maintained a sense of chilling out, “nah, just looking around,” but inside I was screaming, “OH MY GOD!” This girl connected with my intuition on every level. She looked like Natalie Merchant in her college days, i.e. around 21-ish, but with the bobbed haircut Natalie sported once 10,000 Maniacs started hitting the big time. In other words, she was stunning. She was wearing some outrageous neo-preppie outfit: short denim skirt, a blouse with a sweater tied around her waist, and I noticed she had a small, black nose-piercing stud on the left side of her nose, and a black tattoo of unknown Chinese characters on the inside of her left wrist. Funny what the mind can catalog in a moment of heightened awareness.

I wandered around, checked out the aforementioned Neil Diamond CD, and finally decided to buy the 5-DVD set of THE KIDS IN THE HALL-Season One, a show I have always loved, which I thought was reasonably priced, even for B & N prices. Hell, I wanted an excuse to talk to her!
I took my items to the counter and as she was ringing up my purchase, I asked without hesitation, “Do you sing?”

“Sing?” she replied. “No, I wish I was able to sing,” she said with what seemed to be honest sincerity and perhaps some sort of artistic desire.

“I’m in a band,” I said, “and I’m not trying to come on to you, but you’re absolutely gorgeous! After you greeted me, I was looking at the CDs and thinking, ‘wow, I’d love to be in a band with someone who looked like you.’” I shrugged. There it was, my cards on the table. I’ve lost a great deal of my shyness. (And if I ever lose my extra pounds, I’ll be an absolute player, but in a sweet way, because I’m interested and really do care and I adore women).

“Oh, don’t worry about…thank you!” she exclaimed. “That’s cool you’re in a band. That would be fun.”

Since my wallet was open anyway, I reached in and grabbed one of my Pollyanna Cowgirl business cards and handed it to her. “I’m serious,” I said. “If you’re interested, let me know. And if you’d like any CDs, let me know and I’ll send them to you.”

“Wow, thanks!” she said, studying the card.

I smiled and walked out. The whole scenario seemed like a short, melodic pop song, no reason to add a long solo or other boring crap to the song. Leave it as a bit of a mystery. If it’s meant to be, I’d be hearing from her. I got into my truck and started driving home. About a mile down the road I remembered I had copies of my TP-“Reverie” and my RUBACUORI-“A Smile Worth Remembering” CDs in my laptop computer bag, so I pulled a quick U-turn and headed back to the bookstore. As I pulled into the parking lot, a great line came to mind, and I know it was the perfect ending to this song/situation.

I walked in and found her near the counter where I’d left her only minutes before. Handing her the CDs, I slowly and deliberately said, “I find that intuition is a sense too seldom taken seriously,” and looked at her while raising my eyebrows slightly, all to imply that I was taking my current intuition quite seriously. She was so beautiful I could barely stand looking at her. Despite my social confidence, I felt naked looking at her.

“Thank you so much!” she said, and started studying the cover art.

Just so she’d know, I quickly pointed out that “Reverie” had vocals while “A Smile Worth Remembering” was an instrumental CD, and walked out of the store as she continued to study the CDs.

I may never hear from her. I may never even see her again. But I’ll certainly check out the music section of B & N next time I’m in the store! I don’t even know what I’m trying to accomplish. She WOULD make a great-looking lead singer, and with rock music, there are numerous tales of non-singers doing it for art and growing into their abilities (David Bowie & Jim Morrison, anyone?). And I would love to just kick back and play guitar like a demon while someone else fronts the band.

And no, I’m not necessarily skirt chasing. I know such things grow naturally out of friendships. At least, they should. But what the fuck do I know about relationships? My life (and love life) has been one big fantasy for years. Besides, I have someone very wonderful in waiting.
And no, I’m not looking for anyone. But it also is true that I am occasionally blindsided by absolute attraction. I wish I could define it, but Aldous Huxley said it best: “After silence, that which comes nearest to expressing the inexpressible is music.” If you could feel how I feel when I create my songs, you’d know this love. Maybe some of it gets through.

Who needs Brazil when there is Barnes & Noble?